I felt trepidation as well as relief as a group gathered for the first in person Grief tending indoors since before COVID dramatically changed how we meet, more than a year ago.
In the correspondence before the workshop I felt a new part of my role, to help figure out how to meet possibly different needs about COVID precautions, behaviours, proximity and contact in a grief tending space.
Grief is not a tidy and controlled process by its nature. Involving body liquids, loud noises, and often, the longing for touch.
Kind touch is one of the few ways we generate oxytocin – as well as singing together, giving birth and breastfeeding. Oxytocin helps us to feel a sense of bonding with others, of deep connection
From Sophy, June 2020 Connecting indigenous perspectives on trauma with the landscape of pain in our culture, grief work, and colonisation.. what would a healthy culture look like, and how could these personal and collective traumas such as racism and abuse not be addressed if those of us with power and privilege were not so acclimatised to a traumatised landscape? […]
From Sophy, June 2020
I’ve been reading books about indigenous perspectives on trauma (including Trauma Trails and Decolonizing Trauma Work) and it’s helping me to shift my understanding of what trauma is, seeing more of how much of a western view I’ve held. I originally came to understand trauma as a personal thing, something that happened to an individual. I had already felt a powerful teaching from holding grief work has been to see that trauma – an injury to spirit, mind, emotion or body that leaves a residue of harm – doesn’t arise in the original event, but is the result of a failure of the holding field around the person or group experiencing the injury. Continue reading “Trauma, Grief and Times of upheaval”
In Devon I feel particularly blessed that there are several people holding grief spaces in different ways, and that we meet occasionally to share experiences. Many are listed on our website so you can find your way to other offerings. It’s been rich to come together and ask questions – this month we asked “what are we learning?” which generated a wide ranging sharing. About the times we are living in.. about the need for our own support, and spaces for our own grief tending .. about the nature of grief and trauma, and the importance of support or resources for people coming to do grief work, so there is holding also when the grief tending space comes to an end. Continue reading “On grief, trauma and the importance of support”