The Grief Tending in Community network and what it does

In 2019 we ran the first Apprenticing to Grief programme, to support others to hold and deepen into this work. Since then the team have run 12 programmes, 7 in person and 5 on line. Over 130 people have now completed this programme, joining the team in a widening network of “Apprentices to grief”.

Some have gone on to hold shared Grief Tending spaces for others. Others come to gain more confidence or understanding in meeting the grief in their existing work spaces, for example doctors, social workers, therapists, group leaders, hospice workers and mental health professionals. Some come to deepen their personal journey with their own grief, or to feel more comfortable with it in family or friendship settings.

In 2024 a group decided to gather information about the Grief Tending work this network had offered. We invited apprentices to share data with us about how many events they had run, how many had attended and so on. This page summarises the results of that work.

Report on Grief Tending in Community

Introduction

Grief Tending in Community is a practice that involves a group of people coming together to share grief, with space to express their emotions. It can be a life-affirming experience and in addition to providing support and relief for current grief, can help people learn skills to cope with grief. Grief Tending events include a range of practices: simple exercises for participants to build trust, group ritual to express and witness feelings, embodiment to regulate the nervous system.

In Grief Tending events, all kinds of grief are welcome. We honour loss, absence, longing and change, and reconnect with intimacy and belonging. Our version of Grief Tending is rooted in the teachings of Sobonfu and Malidoma Somé, Joanna Macy, Martín Prechtel and others, and has been shaped by teachers including Maeve Gavin, Francis Weller and those in this network.

Grief Tending events take place in a variety of face to face and online settings, including: an existing community, a group of people who come together temporarily, and a group who meet regularly.  Each Grief Tending event is facilitated by Grief Tenders.

In 2024 a preliminary audit was undertaken of Grief Tending events in order to observe and record the range and diversity of current practice

Methods

Grief Tenders recorded and shared information on their face to face and/or online events. Information on the date and length of event and numbers of facilitators, assistants and participants was recorded in an online spreadsheet. This information was then summarised.

Note that we added up the numbers attending each event. Some will be returners, so the total number of people who have attended events is less than the number shown here. We estimate that between 10 – 25% of people have been to an event before.

Results

Eight Grief Tenders shared information on 225 events held between 1/12/2013 and 31/12/2024, where grief was shared and witnessed. In total there were 3066 people attending (including a total of 720 at two festivals in 2023 and 2024). Participants joined from all continents (except Antarctica), the majority from the UK, followed by Europe and the US and Canada.

The number of Grief Tending events increased over time. The duration of both face-to-face and online events varied widely.

There were multiple short online events – some lasted 1 hour others 4 hours and others were all day or over multiple days. The longest online programme is the Apprenticing to Grief, which runs over 3 weekends.

The duration of face-to-face events varied from one or more hours, to workshops which ran over four days, and the Apprenticing to Grief over six days. Most face-to-face events lasted for 1 day or 3- 5 days.

All events (online or face-to-face) were led by a Grief Tender and supported by at least one other Grief Tender, facilitator or assistant.

Discussion

We believe this to be the first audit of Grief Tending events. The total number represents workshop spaces attended; some will be people who come to more than one event. We estimate that the number of unique people who attended is around 80% of this figure. Some figures provided by facilitators are estimates based on average numbers attending workshops.

Our initial objective in gathering this data was to sense the impact and reach of this network. In 2025 we aim to gather more comprehensive information from more people who are holding spaces. We would also like to see what else has resulted from attending the Apprenticing to Grief programme.

Many of us holding workshops gather evaluation information at the end of a workshop, or invite this feedback from participants online afterwards.. We believe Grief Tending in Community to be a low-cost, high impact intervention to improve mental wellbeing of those impacted by bereavement, loss, past trauma, stress, and life changes. We also believe it can have beneficial effects on those around people who come, which would be harder to measure. We would like to understand more about the impact of these practices on those who have attended Grief Tending events. We are exploring the best methods for doing this e.g. a survey of people who have attended.

If you’re interested to support this work please get in touch.

Thanks to all those who shared their data, and all of you who are helping this vital work to spread to those who may need it.